A Night Journey in the Fog Via Kalinga Ghat

From the pen-APN

In the stealth of a moonless night, my vehicle was climbing down Kalinga Ghat. The hills that stood by the sides of the road were hardly visible as thick fog had covered the Ghat road. The fog was so thick that anything was hardly visible beyond 15 meters. It was the month of May and such heavy fog in the night was unexpected.

I groped my limited knowledge of Geography. I remembered some content of my Geography textbook which I used to read during my class 10. It said that what is perceived as fog by the people at the top of mountain looks like cloud to the people at the foot of that mountain.

My speed was reduced to sub 20 km/hr because I was now piercing through the thick layers of water vapors. The windshield wiper of my car was rhythmically cleaning the windshield. I wanted to stop my car and get down and click a half dozen of photos in the headlamp of my car but my friend who was accompanying me discouraged me from doing so.

Getting out of the car in that foggy night amidst the wilds of the hills was enchanting but it had some risks too.

“Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.”  I realized the meaning of this maxim, in real sense, when I had to accede to the requests of my friend.

I stayed inside the car with the doors shut but I shot a short video of that foggy night through the windshield and I had to remain contented without having the feel of the cloud/fog vapors on my skin.

“Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains."

FOR A RELATIONSHIP, UTTERLY FOUL

From the pen-APN

For a relationship, utterly foul,

I staked all my soul,

And I was flung into cursed hellfire

Of betrayal and illicit desire

With eyes shut and mind puzzled,

With broken heart and spirits muddled,

I was sliced and halved,

Poisoned and almost dead,

Because you cruelly grinned,

A vampire, devilish and wretched,

Crouched on the callous desert

Of treachery and deceit

So all emotions I strangled to cessation,

All memories I buried in oblivion, 

All fond relationships I threw to Sea,

And I killed someone in me

And hoped my resilient mind will seal,

And the sunny heart will heal,

The wounds on my back

To keep me on life’s track

When I Walked out of Her Life (a one-page story series)

From the pen APN

Friends and foes are never constant in life. The stream of life proves one thing unfailingly that you cannot step the same water twice.

In this life, at a point of time, she came, shone for a while with the brightest of colours and the sweetest of smiles. Then I made her vanish from my life because I could not withhold her anymore. I could not learn my higher realities while using all my faculties and energies to hold her within the confinements of my being. Slowly I learnt she was not mine and she was a coveted prize of many seekers. She was capricious and she was mercuric and that was the beauty of her nature. That trait of her nature to become constantly inconstant added strange attractiveness to her nature and many a hearts would die for it.

One day I was also pining for her and I was fighting gallantly to claim her to be mine but the truth was that she was not meant only for me. She was just like a bubbling stream to flow into any favourable direction with instant changes and compromises but I was too hard and granitic to allow her such free course of meandering motions.

There were inevitable tussles and a dreadful destruction of the early rainbows of romance. Finally, I did something manly. All of a sudden I decided to walk out of her ways and gifted her back her lost freedom and her old life. And I walked away as a new confident man who never curbs other’s freedom and I walked away as one who can live by himself in peace, joy and balance forgetting all hurts and harboring no gumption because ‘I am what I am: a unique entity and a lone star shining with my own light.’ 

My entire world changed instantly.  

Today I do not listen to sad songs that describe the heartaches of a disappointed lover. I no more feel the pangs of a lost love. My heart is healed and I listen to the happy song ‘Bom Diggy Diggy Bom Bom’ (A latest Bollywood song with peppy music. Check it out on the web, you will love it!)

It took more than a month to digest all the pains and emerge once again as a confident man to face life with the brightest of smiles. And now I give the heartiest smiles and feel one with the limitless sky and I shine too with my own light.

An Echo from the Hearts of TSDians on the Occasion of Dr.B.P.Mahaptra’s Superannuation

From the pen-APN, 31^st March 2018

“A lovable person among us who is always seen in a white shirt and deep-coloured trousers has subtly carved the most indelible impressions on our lives in the last 1 year 9 months and 2 days at TSD College.”

Silent but dignified, simple but introspective, friendly but non-interfering, as you are, you elicit the best of emotions and regards from the very core of our hearts. To impress by not trying to impress, to speak volumes by not speaking a word, to influence magically at the subconscious level by exerting no conscious efforts are some of the wonderful aspects of your life and profession which will never cease to amaze us. And we, the staff members of TSD College, dream for that unique stoicism which is so natural a trait in you.

The fingers that touch a fragrant flower will exude the same fragrance for a while and in the same way, any person who comes in contact with Dr Bhagabati Prasad Mahapatra will exude the same joy of being humble, natural and simple. 

By observing your professionalism, we have learnt how to be a thinker and philosopher who makes self-analysis from moment to moment. We also have learnt from you how to refine our views and approaches towards life and then invent productive and exemplary modes of living that will ultimately enrich humanity at large.   

We know not when and how you affixed your signature-impressions in the core of our hearts by your abnormally normal disposition and gorgeously simple lifestyle and last but not the least by your uncommonly commonsense of life, education and literature.  

We thank you and pray for a glorious life ahead. And at the same time, we love you and feel for you with the deepest of our emotions and feelings on this last working day of your eventful professional life.

With Regards,

Yours Sincerely,

All your Colleagues

TSD COLLEGE, B.D.PUR

The ‘Arisa’ cake-maker

From the Pen-APN

A few months back when I was talking with that man, he seemed to be a dexterous entrepreneur. He used to sell ‘Arisa’ cake in a tin box laden on the carrier of a bicycle by the road-side of Bhanjanagar Market. He described me a lot about many Odia delicacies. And then he offered me a piece of his Arisha Cake (a type of Odia traditional cake made from jaggery) and at the same time, he extolled the speciality of the cake from the viewpoint of Odia culture. He had a pleasing smile and appealing communication skills. That day I was very much impressed both by the taste of his ‘Arisa’ Cake and his way of presenting the cultural value of the said dish. 

That day I had bought 6 pieces of the said cake and I went home to relish it with my family.

Today I met the same man in the same place in the same fashion but this time the genuine smile was eclipsed by some inner pain. The man seemed to be defeated by some unknown troubles.  I could not find the previous enthusiasm in his voice. He told, “Sir I struggled in this market for one year but I failed.” I was surprised because the taste of his ‘Arisa’ cake was unique and it obviously puzzled me why the classic product could not take off. Reading the expression of my concerned face he went on explaining, “Sir, people now call themselves modern and junk food with ‘China Salt’ (Monosodium Glutamate) is more appealing to their taste buds. And now in the name of culture, my business can no more stand. People have made junk food a fashion although it is unhealthy”

I realized the truth. At the same time, I could see how the youth of the town were swarming to a nearby fast food centre at the other side of the road and hanging around the heated pan on the oven that was frying earthworm-like noodles with lightning fast hand movements of a sweating cook. And I was the lone customer of that Arisa cake maker standing with him and trying to figure out the pains of a struggler, with his traditional know-how and values, who is fighting hard to overcome the blinding ads, a glamorous restaurant set up and the endemic junk food culture.      

I paid him Rs 70/- and carried my parcel of 7 pieces of cakes with no words to speak as I had no consolation to offer. And I left the cake seller alone in the busy road imagining and feeling sad about how my culture meets a dead end under the pressures of an invading culture like Chinese noodles, soup and other junk food.

Your Smile is not Fairy like Anymore….

From the Pen-APN

Your smile is not that much fairy-like anymore. I had linked my soul to your happily beaming face. But to my surprise now you go on showering your beauty and charm lavishly on any co-traveller you encounter on your way.

I get perplexed at your indiscriminate treatment of them who could never be serious lovers like me. Although you say, “All my beauty and youth is only for you,” you offer your beauty and youth to others packaged with lucrative smiles and inviting talks. You say you are all for me but when one day I found you are conspiring with a new comer to share your womanly love, I was utterly confused about my place in your life. You labelled the new guy simply as an acquaintance but you treated him more than your husband.

And I am hurt today because one day you had treated me more than your husband who is still alive and now you treat the new entrant more than me when both your husband and I are alive.

I simply say, “Oh! Shit,” because I am twice removed from you, first by your husband and then by the other guy.

Completely broken and deeply hurt I knock my house doors. And my pious wife opens the doors with oceans of true love in her eyes for me. She hugs me lovingly and does not know that she hugs a cheating heart that has been cheated recently by some other crafty woman.

DREAM BIG, FEEL THE URGE, WORK SMART AND LEAVE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE

From the pen-APN

In some moment of my life on some rough paper I had once scribbled the following lines:“To speak to the public is my passion. I instantly connect the inner flow of my life when I am to speak before an audience. A well-decorated stage in a big open field under the limitless sky and an excited audience and my heart to heart talk with them over a public address system added with digital delay technology are my unalloyed joys of life.   As a stage anchor I speak out my heart before a joyous public and these acts of public contact give me a sense of self-actualization because I am really good at this.  With each public programme, I galvanize my dynamism and self-confidence. Such public festivals or programmes fill my heart with a lot of positive and spiritual energy. But now for over a year, I do not attend any programmes. I maintain a low profile. I tell myself that I do not need such publicity. I have started neglecting a beautiful aspect of my personality. Like a flower which does not get proper nourishment my talents may die out.”This is a case which most of us suffer more or less during different stages of our lives. Most of the time, we give up or gradually we withdraw ourselves from making efforts to realize our gifted talents. As a result, we die before we realize our uniqueness and the tremendous potentialities that we are endowed with.What is the answer to such a malaise?   DREAM BIG, FEEL THE URGE, WORK SMART AND LEAVE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

The joy of walking together

From the pen-APN

When she appeared before me, adorned in a snow-white outfit, with her characteristic smiles of elegance and pristine beauty, she looked like a moving temple in human form. I looked at her without a blink of an eye. I did not know how long I stood spellbound at her amazing beauty. And I only regained my consciousness when she slowly and lovingly approached me with a smile and held one of my hands in hers and started walking with me.

That day we walked to a lovely place where God was believed to reside. That was a temple of unparalleled beauty. People believed that it was the temple of a lively deity where everyone gets whatever he/she wishes. So, with a heart full of rosy wishes, we started walking towards that sacred place of joy and serenity. From a distance, the temple looked like Lord Siva’s gigantic snow-white Kailash Mountain. And the colossal flag that fluttered gleefully on its top looked like the guardian of universe glancing benignly over a patch of surrounding verdant woods.

That day we just walked together in the same direction to a common destination. Neither I spoke any words to her nor did she spoke anything to me. But, in the life-enriching silence of the sacred place, while walking the walk hand in hand, we felt the depths of our beings mingle together in deep feelings of harmony and trust. With each step, our souls got closer and closer. I felt her fingers fill the gaps between my fingers. I clasped her palm in mine and a strong bond for all times to come was consummated. We knew we loved each other truly and by the time we climbed all the steps of the temple we were convinced of our relationship to be everlasting and unbreakable.     

I am not dead in spite of my beloved’s deadly blows

From the pen-APN

You hammered my heart with a blunt useless lie and then you laughed at me. You cruelly laughed at my excruciating pains with your enormous ego of being physically beautiful. But you failed to realize that you could bring pain to me only because my heart was made wonderfully soft for you in deep feelings of love. As a result, I did not have plan ‘B’ to safeguard myself from your venomous attacks. I remained unarmed in your love. So I was easily devastated and I was made to lose my mental balance by your cruel jokes. I soaked my cheeks in my own tears and stepped out of my closet, embracing the cold winter night with lonely footsteps. In my lonesome marching on the pavements of the city’s wide street, as a forlorn man, I realized what I am.

Yes, I am a heart-broken man but I am still alive. Although I am immersed in the saddest songs of a painfully palpitating heart, I dream of a life of Enlightenment and of Lord Buddha’s serenity. Although my heart is stabbed by my dearest person, I do not submit myself to death. The wound given by her is deep and fatal but I do not die. Just my inside gets cleansed by the flow of the spurting blood from the wound. And I find that I am not dead and I am still capable of dreaming of a new morning with grasshoppers jumping merrily in the sunshine of a golden sun in the cloudless sky. My joy knows no bound when some butterflies are hovering around me and at the same time, I am meditating on the shortness of this human life and the littleness of my passing sufferings…The movements of coloured wings of those hovering butterflies hint at something sacred and in the fluttering-music of their wings I listen to an eternal voice which speaks assuringly, “I am not dead in spite of my beloved’s deadly blows.” 

Embrace life with a sunny smile!

Tearing Apart the Blue Whale

“Tearing Apart the Blue Whale”

From the pen-APN

(Every relationship has a rise and then some period of continuity, may be short or long, and then an inevitable fall. Here, I sketch the thought of a mature man/woman who suffers the end of a lasting and deeply emotional relationship and is trapped by the BLUE WHALE GAME. And then fights back to regain his/her senses. Reader’s feedback is solicited)

Now when my relationship sinks like the setting sun of a wintry afternoon, I look at the endless sky that is splattered with crimson red and see the home-coming of a flock of birds in the fainter rays of the dying sun…

‘HOME-COMING’ is a better word to say when your life’s directions change dramatically and drastically. Putting my two hands on the waist and eyes fixed at the sinking sun, I have nothing but to draw a long breath to make the dying heart alive again. I feel myself and assure that I am still alive and I am no dead.

Yes, the blissful day merges in the darkness of night. And I feel suffocated like a suicidal maniac in the half-hanging state. My heart palpitates with heart-wrenching long and deep beats. And I deliberate if I am dead I am gone forever but if I survive then surely the moon will come with its silver beams, and the stars will sprinkle their sparkling blues. So I must survive the dark night till I see the moonlit starry night…After all, I am a hopeful heart, and I still have the light of hope in me, and my undying hopes make me a star by my own right….

THE BLUE WHALE CAN NOT DEFEAT ME.

Love your world!

A Life-long Commitment

From the pen-APN

In spite of all odds, she had loved me with all her heart. And every day, those feelings of love became stronger and deeper. 
One day, when I had drawn her close to me by her hand, she had hugged me deeply. And the fresh waters of her genuine love had cleansed all my impurities. I had never known before that someone on earth could love me so passionately. 
In her soulful embrace, that day, I had uttered in a half hypnotic voice, “Hey lady! You have become my life and my top priority. And my quest ends here for true love.”
That day on my own handwriting I had written to her, “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget.”
She had opened the letter and had smiled like the most beautiful angel of heaven and then slowly she had leaned towards me with deep breaths and her trembling lips. And her soft and juicy lips had touched mine. She had closed her eyes and our lips had mingled deeply…And then taking a pause she had revealed from the core of her heart that she would remain faithful to me till her last breath.
This was an auspicious moment of life-long commitment which had made two warm hearts one. And which continues till date.
Later on, through her numerous sacrifices, every day she had etched on my heart her indelible impressions. And she had made herself simply unforgettable and inseparable by her true, deep and unconditionally mad love for me.
Many days have gone past meanwhile; many weeks, months and years have rolled on. And I have reached the fag end of my life. My hair has turned grey in these years. Still, I love her again and again because she has always proved herself worthy of those magic lines, 
“TRULY GREAT FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND, DIFFICULT TO LEAVE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.”
Now I daily see her wrinkled face and toothless grin. But she walks with me and I walk with her clasping her shaky and parched hands. 
Where the road ends or where the road takes a steep turn I know not but I enjoy that she always stays with me like the blessings of God. And I still feel her as my most beautiful angel of heaven who unreservedly gives her nectarine smiles and enriches my soul with the highest form of human love….and thankfully I say, “TATHASTU!”