Frustration, depression and ice-cream.

Man invents and adopts various strategies to counterbalance his frustrations. One of them is by diverting the mind from the causes and thoughts of frustration. And this strategy most often involves going to ice-cream parlours or restaurants where the frustrated individual can sit comfortably for a while; where he can easily divert his mind to the actions of his test buds. It is no issue, although this relaxation ends with a restaurant bill. 

It is another interesting thing that most men would never have any grumbling if they spend for filling their stomachs. Many shop owners who do business other than food items feel terribly frustrated when they fall prey to continuous bargaining of an unconvinced customer. However, fast food, restaurants, hotels and similar food linked industries are free from such bargaining and argument. Food is life and nobody would like to go for bargaining as regard to this basic necessity of life.

It was evening time and I was half spent and dog tired. I was on the streets of Bhubaneswar heading towards the bus station to catch a bus to my native place. The big cars, big houses and the glare of city life looked down on me. I found myself sinking in a sea of depression and frustration. The feelings got intensified with each time I wiped my face to avoid sweats. The heart was burning because of my nothingness. I could not find a quick fix to my problem. I wanted to search myself. I wanted to feel my own worth. I wanted silence so that I could start an inward journey. And I found what I wanted.  I saw an ice-cream bar. I went inside & sat on a table. I opened my laptop, ordered vanilla-flavored ice-cream and wrote out my heart. Each spoonful ice-cream refreshed my being and I stood up once again for my self-expression. I paid the bill and clicked the “ADD NEW BLOGPOST” button on the laptop.  

  

(Readers are requested to excuse me for packaging the blog post with so much frustration and depression but at the same time I must admit the truth that I feel my readers so close that I cannot find anyone worthier to taste the cup of frustration mixed ice-cream)

Although life is uncertain.....

A decade back, in response to my first love-letter, my dream girl replied that, “Life is Uncertain” and the short sentence was followed by a paragraph explaining her possible fears and inability to make any commitments. The tone of that letter had surely been full of indecision and hopelessness. However, that day, I became glad from within because I changed my attitude and for the first time thought like a philosopher. I thought about life, I thought about platonic love, I thought about the transitoriness of life and viewed that my love had become immortal with the touch of uncertainty. I enjoyed the element of uncertainty. And I could easily manage my balance. 

The moral of the story is that man lives in two worlds-one is a mercenary world of grim reality and the other one is a world of romantic imagination. Man switches from one world to the other according to his own convenience. For example, I switched from the gnawing practical world to the happy-go-lucky imaginative world and got a temporary relief. But staying rooted in the imaginative world for more than a certain period will definitely lead to an imbalance. 

It is a general experience that insecurities and uncertainties in life come alarmingly and shatter our mental poise. Sometimes they make the heart throb in fear, grind the mind but at the same time they also activate some of our hidden strengths. Therefore, somebody has rightly said that the night is the darkest before the dawn. 

Uncertainty and insecurity in life are the deadliest threats to the mental health of an individual but a change in mental attitude can definitely nullify their deleterious effects to a great extent. 

(N.B. My readers may comment the write up childish but sometimes it is pure joy to be childish. Sometimes childish exuberance answers intricate questions of life.)

I felt a little guilty that I did not wait for my friends

That day I had to make a journey of 500 kilometers. I was standing alone, without a companion, at the railway station. I was waiting for my train like other travelers. It was the time of Dussera Vacation and many people were journeying to their native places. Nobody noticed me. I was there but none looked at me. Many people used to pass by me in their own way. But no one did have a look at me. 

The world is moving at a galloping speed and everyone is restlessly struggling through his/her life. Speed has made us machines. And often we utter some short mechanical ‘helloes’ just for namesake. Pronouncing the word ‘Hello’ must be accompanied with a smile which originates from heart and ends on lips. But I can hardly remember when I had last smiled so genuinely.  

Nobody was a friend to me in the station. All were strangers. But soon my eyes got fixed at the entrance of the station for a moment and I said “Hello” with a loud and jubilant voice. I was reciprocated in the same manner by two of my colleagues who had entered into the platform by that time. We greeted and hugged each other. The least known platform appeared to be a 20-20 match playground, full of verve and charge. 

Friendship and coffee are the two sides of the coin. Friendship deepens with the warmth of coffee. That evening we three friends relaxed over coffee and waited for our train. We all had to go to the same place and we were supposed to board the same train. As we gave company to each other in the midst of strangers, our intimacy and fellow feeling intensified awesomely.

We emptied our coffee-cups. Then those two friends went to the enquiry counter to make an enquiry about some more trains. I was at the platform. The moment they were out of sight, I saw our train approaching to the platform. The train was abounding with so many travelers. I forgot that two of my friends had to board the same train. I only thought about myself. I boarded the train and the train blew its whistle and soon left the station. I was still at the door of the coach only to discover how my friends missed the train. I felt a little guilty that I did not wait for my friends. 

(I would like to receive readers’ response in this context. Because I cannot still decide whether I was right or wrong that day. Two factors are worth to be mentioned. First thing it was a journey of 7 hours. Second thing, it was during Puja vacation when all trains get heavily crowded.  )

Renewal of social values

One of Leo Tolstoy’s famous stories poses a philosophical question, “How much land does a man need?” And the end of the story convinces the reader that a man in the end requires no more than 6 feet of land in some corner of a graveyard. The conclusion drawn is so true. However, the paradox of life is that man does not understand this eternal truth and he breathlessly runs throughout his life amassing wealth and property. And when the bubble of life dissolves all things appear in their true colour- useless and lifeless.

Today the people who are at the helm of power or those who already have enormous wealth are more corrupted than others. The vilest thing is that corrupt practices snatch the benefits of a nation from those who deserve them most. It is a threat to our society. But why corruption is so rampant? Why do corrupt people unfeelingly deprive other people from their rightful share of nation’s riches?

The answer is plain. Man is genetically selfish. And by default, the sperm that produces a human form is utterly selfish. So we can say,”Thinking oneself first” is the distinctive inborn characteristic of almost all human beings. In other words, to become selfish is the natural tendency of human beings.  But the good thing about us is that in spite of our innate selfish inclinations, we have a society and we feel responsible for a harmonious co-habitation. Therefore we have so long existed and developed. Our age-old social values and sense of common humanity always get in our way and modify our selfish desires to morally and socially acceptable forms. This social or psycho-moral mechanism had been the guiding force in the past. Moreover this social consciousness is essential for our present and future as well. It is indispensable for the safe existence of mankind. But the pity is that now-a-days man is becoming more and more unfeeling and numb to the idea of universal brotherhood and co-existence. The common sense of humanity is losing grounds and the society is slowly pushed to a state of utter anarchy.

In short we can say that we have degraded ourselves miserably in the moral scale. Hence, we urgently require explicit laws like LOKPAL for the renewal of our basic social and moral laws. Who knows, it may really restructure our social values for another millennium and bring the possibility of peaceful living for all human beings.

BOMBAY KA LADU

I didn’t like to lose your nearness so most of the time I smiled at you and I tried my level best to please you. You noticed my sincere efforts and toyed your hair. You felt flattered and queen-like. I talked all good things about you and you blushingly burst in laughter. By the time you were laughing, I imagined that you are in my arms with your eyes closed. But I did not know that in reality I had closed my own eyes in day-dreaming. I became conscious when you shook me by my hand.

I opened my eyes and saw that 6 months of my 2^nd year of +3 had passed but I could not be sure whether you love me or not. When it was exam time you smiled as usual and told me that I was a cute friend like Piyus, Kalol, Sima, Ashok……..I was thunder struck to listen that I was just one among your numerous friends. For 6 months long I had seen your face in the pages of my books but slowly I realized that your lovely face, smiles and your toying of hair had befooled me. I was a fool who now sat in the exam and drew your face on the exam paper.

I saw the questions in the question paper but I was haunted by one question, “Why did you smile at me for 6 months and fooled me so long?” The exam bell rang. I had neatly drawn your face on my paper. With the ringing of the final bell, I wrote the words “BOMBAY KA LADU” below the sketch.