Follow the Conscience.

A hope winks in the heart but soon disappears and hides from view. Like a flash of lightening, it comes into sight for a moment and then vanishes in the thickness of dark. The hopefulness appears as a colourful bright rainbow but a moment later, it dissolves in the unknown. The mind often soars to commanding heights with the wings of positive imagination but soon descends to the ground level and feels deadly inert. ...... .......... This happens to most men in most of the time. In the spur of a moment, we think the grandest things but after a short while, all the high-end expectations and resolutions dash to the ground.


A bud turns into a flower. A caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

All these beautiful changes around me make me yearn enthusiastically to fly high with the wings of a developed personality. However, I always have found myself cocooned in my shell like the caterpillar for long. Why? Why do I stay so limited? My youthfulness is everyday threatened by an approaching old age but I am not conscious to be active to break my little shell and come out with winged-metamorphosis. Life has become sluggish and monotonous. There is no flip.

In such dark moments, life inevitably needs a spiritual touch to realize the highest meaning of itself. But whom to follow? How to realize the meaning of life? The answer is very simple.

The seeds of spiritual flower will start manifesting when every moment of life is lived on the guidelines of conscience. The present world full of religious differences confuses the mind. But conscience never confuses rather it diffuses all the impurities and makes the human spirit glow in full bloom.

So.......... FOLLOW THE CONSCIENCE. It is because Even When There Is No Law There is CONSCIENCE.

Career Vs Affluence & distraction

Those lower middle-classed bright students who go to the metros in want of quality education face various types of emotional and financial challenges. Yesterday a brief chitchat with one of my old girl-students brought to my notice that studying away from family and parents afflicts the students with an utter loneliness. As a result, they fall on their peers for emotional support or needs- mostly on the friends of opposite sex and obviously end up in a messy love entangle.

In addition, the stylish and expensive restaurants, massive malls, specialized shops, glittering multiplexes, amusement parks easily divert the minds of the youngsters from their sole aim of study and career. All these things also build up undue pressure on their purses and young minds as well.

That student informed me that there are many students, whose both the parents are salaried and normally the ATM of a salary account of either of the parents remains with such students. Consequently, those students flaunt their money and cause inferiority to meritorious but poor students studying with them.

Last night I was viewing a tele-serial named PYAR KI YE EK KAHANI on StarOne channel. I am not a regular viewer of any television series but in that episode, I came across a witty remark that I would like to share with by readers.

- The scene opens with an apprehension whether Piya, a poor and orphaned but extremely meritorious student, will get the yearly scholarship or not. The scholarship is the only hope for the continuation of her studies. As a result, Piya is desperately anxious and keeping her fingers crossed. At this time an affluent girl student rudely comments, “Who cares for this worthless scholarship! My father can afford my studies.” Piya remains silent in deep mental agony but her friend wittily defends her by a sarcastic remark, “Yes, your parents can afford your studies but they can not only afford a brain transplant, which is most required in your case.”

20th Feb'11

Like the slides of a power point presentation, many happy and sad episodes of life are fast moving. The last 6 to 7 days were very eventful. A district collector has been abducted and the public shudders in fear. In sympathy all the district officials have shut down their offices till the safe release of the collector. And our college is also closed for an indefinite period. Roads are blocked and we have been remaining sealed in the district for 5 days. We witness complete lawlessness in the district.

Yesterday a group of boys came like gangster to the college campus to meet a girl. The girl crossed the hostel wall and without informing the hostel-in-charge attended to her lover.

Police is not found. They are like the commoners in civil dress. Life is so when I sat to write the post.

V-Day musings.

On the day of love i.e. valentine’s day, when the world practises love, I closed the doors and windows of my room & played some beautiful songs.


In the depths of melody, I remembered my wife who was away from me and I remembered how she is single-handedly nurturing our one-month-old baby at her paternal home. I remembered the face & the very characteristic pose of my baby ,who suckled nourishment from her mother, while putting his hands in a prayerful pose.

For the first time when I had detected that pose of my baby while suckling milk, I had commented to my wife that the baby offered Namaskar (A Hindu way of expressing respect by joining the palms of both hands) to you out of gratitude. We both had laughed looking at the half-sleepy baby who suckled milk with his hands still in Namaskar pose.

Gratitude is the little sister of love. A feeling of gratitude can tremendously herald feelings of great-love.

The most unfeeling Vs The Unknown

I was numb. I had become insensitive to life.  Each of my cells was empty. I sat with my eyes closed. I groped my heart to catch some feelings but I was empty. I had completely become a hollowed man- an exhausted utter emptiness. My heart was anaesthetic. It only beat mechanically. I desperately needed to feel life. I needed to feel feelings but I failed. I crossed my fingers and closed my eyes. Nevertheless, my own emptiness overpowered me and my heart went on beating mechanically.

The wall clock ticked... tick...tick...tick...tick...minutes passed by but I remained the same. An unfeeling stony heart. I forcefully tried to remember the Valentine’s Day, the beautiful faces, lovely roses, my college life, the poorest of the poor, the hungry crying children but nothing worked. It was the severest of heart-attack-not physical but emotional- that arrested all of my human sensibilities and I became like a machine that was hard metallic & ruthless.

Like a drowning man gasping for breath, I desperately needed some human feelings in my heart but I miserably missed them. I could not determine what to do so that I could restore the suppleness of my heart.

Nothing worked.....my hopes disintegrated. All my efforts dissolved in that dead empty silence of a materialistic heart and I remained as THE MOST UNFEELING. THE MOST UNFEELING.....

The temple bells of the nearby temple tolled with a chant of morning Arati..... 

I raised my heavy head and with my unfeeling heart & spoke to THE UNKNOWN,

“After a long time I need to pray you because today when I closed my eyes I discovered that I have become very empty. Everything out of me has been drained out and I urgently need the sensibilities of a human being.

I do not know whether you exist or not but you are a great solace to me now because when I tried everything and failed, your Arati and the temple bells reminded me of you. In short, when I found none by my side you seemed to be very easily available. You can be easily available because if you exist than my problems and emptiness will discover you and even if you do not exist than my weaknesses will invent you. In either case, you will appear before me even if I lose everything. And I need you to solve my problem instantly.” I was interrupted for a while. My mobile started ringing but I continued my murmuring,

“ Excuse me God, my sister is calling to my mobile I have to talk to her....... 

-Hello, Mama( name of my sister), Tell me...

She told nervously from the other side -After few hours my exam results will be declared. I am very nervous.

With strange confidence, I told her-Do not worry I will tell God. You are getting a first-class. Call me after 2 hours now I am busy with God”

My confident voice made her unimaginably elated. She replied happily with a burst of laughter,

“After the result declaration we will plan for a holiday-trip”

I very confidently told her,” Sure. Today evening we will plan for the trip.  ”

She disconnected the phone from her side happily and I told to God, “You are realy very useful. Therefore I must believe in your existence.”