A father in utter frustration

Yesterday I was watching a movie named ‘C COMPANY’. A scene touched my heart where a father entertains the customers of a big shopping mall by playing the part of a cartoon-cock. Poverty makes him jump like a hen. His son is unaware of his identity and when he confronts his father’s status he hates and leaves that place in disgust along with his mother. The father, who has just taken off the mask of the cartoon- cock and stands in utter despair and agony, is all in tears.  The mother and child left him alone in a deep sea of frustration and heartache. He is agonized because he could not prove himself to be a good father-he is a miserable weakling, completely defeated by the ruthlessness of society.

Tears sparkled in my eyes. My heart was purified in such an impeccable presentation of human FAILINGS. I saluted the actor RAMPAL YADAV for his powerful acting skills. He is a dwarfish actor but his size proved to be a strong point in driving the act straight into heart……. SIZE DOES NOT MATTER, WHAT LIES INSIDE DETERMINES THE RESULT.

I would like to spill some of my feelings that have a parallelism with the trampled father. ……………. No I won’t but I must say that I love my wife a lot because with me she has lots of insecurities and no guarantee. Still she is struggling to welcome a fine morning when the sky will glitter with a radiant sun and the birds will be happily flying.

After a three-day-break from updating my blog, all of a sudden a variety of feelings popped up in me taking a definite shape. And the nucleus of those emotions was our newly declared examination centre for conducting the AHS Examination. After a 5 years’ wait our college was accorded the exam centre. The students of our college appeared the exam under our invigilation.

Today is the first day of examination and the exam was conducted very smoothly and strictly. After the examination duty when I was returning from the college I was really proud because we had given due respect to our profession and the examination code of conduct in both letter and spirit.

International women's day

It is 1 pm in the night on 8th March, the international women’s day and I am still awake.
I spent the day as usual but when I was about to switch off my mind and go asleep, I was suddenly prompted to open my laptop to pen down few of my feelings about the women folk.
I thought in all possible directions for some minutes, felt a volume but failed to express. However, few words danced in my mind during the process of my thinking and some of them are LOVE, SOFTNESS OF HEART, PATIENCE, BEST FRIEND, etc. The more I thought, the more grateful I became towards all those women who had influenced me in some way or the other.
In the stillness of night I saluted those numerous human forms, who move embodying all these noble attributes of humanity, and we call them WOMEN.

A big snake crossed my road......

A big snake (cobra) crossed my road in the afternoon. As a result, in the evening I lit the bulb, which was fixed outside of my quarter, and kept it burning till midnight. I plugged the hole in the bathroom that drained the water because that hole seemed to me a welcome passage to the split-tongued-reptile. I looked for the torch and replaced the cells. And now…..I thought philosophically, LIFE IS UNCERTAIN AND SHORT. A small bite, and the next moment I might be a cause of a condolence meet in the educational institution where I teach. Still I live with my inflated egos. I do not live naturally. Always there is pretending of something else other than me. So for a moment I thought with a deep breath that I will live a life in its natural flavor. I shall connect myself with my true feelings that are noble on the human scale and I shall never manure the ill-feelings that always subsist on the thick substratum of my ego.

A lot of philosophizing………

I went to bed and saw a dream where I was fondling a baby child of Drasthi Dhami. I also saw that the snake had taken a human form and was travelling with me on my bike. But I could sense that the snake was full of respect and fear for me. Everything was weird but I enjoyed.

In the morning I found that I had slept longer than the time table. And the moment I got up I straight went into the bathroom. Firstly, I unplugged the hole that I had choked yesterday out of fear of the snake. I took a deep breath and told myself, “Let me live my life naturally. Dar ke age jeet hota hey”

Vaccination that pricked into heart

Yesterday my cute one-month-old son was taken to the paediatrician for vaccination. He was happy and warm in his mother’s hand. He looked like an angel free from all worries and troubles. He was sleeping tranquilly. Both the mother and the child looked so calm. He believed his mother’s lap as the safest place on earth and his mother felt good because she was like an ocean of love for the little creature. The mother-child relationship was an exchange of many silent, yet powerful human sentiments.

But these calmness soon vanished. When the turn of my baby for vaccination came, my wife started to shudder in fear at the sight of the needles and the injection syringe. The paediatrician took the baby from the hands of my wife and pricked the needles into the veins of my son. The innocent silence and complacent looks of the baby suddenly turned into a heart-rending cry. I could feel that in that cry there was a deep pain of a shattered faith. The baby’s cry bore the hidden meaning, “Mother, whom can I believe now? I am not safe even in your lap. In your presence how somebody could put me in pain!” 

The baby’s cry brought tears in the eyes of my wife. Both the mother and the child cried together and I stood silent like a stupefied spectator.