Saturday, October 30, 2010
I shall live and enjoy my constant evolvement
With crossed fingers and a meditative mind I sat vigilantly to catch my rising thoughts which may benefit me later. I became silent and sensitive to the faintly whispering voices within me. I drew myself from the outer distractions and listened carefully to my inner voice. I started a monologue and got flashing responses. My being responded and my mind started to dictate the mental waves in word equivalents. The fingers typed and the dreams took lively forms.I am happy because I am not blank. I am happy because I am sensitive. I am responding to my self in my thought level. I am able to create or recycle human intelligence. I am a part of the infinite intelligence and I keep contact with that bountiful source of life. So my improvement in the thought level is inevitable. I won't become a corpse. I shall live and enjoy my constant evolvement.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Reopening The Doors to Spiritual Bliss
Moving on the sandy sea of desert, water can not be obtained.Treading over the cushion of sense-pleasure, the nectar of life can not be tested.Most often what we aspire for remain elusive beause the approaches adopted to reah at them are wrong.
Vivekananda beautifully reminds us this truth when he says, "All help comes from inside and not from outside." We are lost in the burning heats and the blinding flashes of the outside desert so absorbingly that we become blind to the inner fountain of joy which ever flows inside of every human soul.We just need to reopen the doors of our heart to this inner wealth of spiritual joy.
The reoppening of the doors of our hearts is simply a new angle of pereption which will help realize the true beauty and meaning of our existence..In the mercenary ativities of life we forget the simple joys of life. We knowingly get confused and befooled in the trivial affairs of life only to avoid the divine joy of a spiritual living.We know it better that a little intoxiation of spiritual bliss can dissolve our petty egoes and can thus enforce a higher form of spiritual living. But we deliberately keep clinging to our miniature self because we fear expansion. Expansion will disintegrate and dissolve our lowly self.But we love our lowly self so dearly that we constantly avoid the invitations of all sacred calls of almighty.So What we need is a reopenning of doors to our own spiritual bliss which we have inherited as the child of God. So let us do it and be happy inwardly.
Vivekananda beautifully reminds us this truth when he says, "All help comes from inside and not from outside." We are lost in the burning heats and the blinding flashes of the outside desert so absorbingly that we become blind to the inner fountain of joy which ever flows inside of every human soul.We just need to reopen the doors of our heart to this inner wealth of spiritual joy.
The reoppening of the doors of our hearts is simply a new angle of pereption which will help realize the true beauty and meaning of our existence..In the mercenary ativities of life we forget the simple joys of life. We knowingly get confused and befooled in the trivial affairs of life only to avoid the divine joy of a spiritual living.We know it better that a little intoxiation of spiritual bliss can dissolve our petty egoes and can thus enforce a higher form of spiritual living. But we deliberately keep clinging to our miniature self because we fear expansion. Expansion will disintegrate and dissolve our lowly self.But we love our lowly self so dearly that we constantly avoid the invitations of all sacred calls of almighty.So What we need is a reopenning of doors to our own spiritual bliss which we have inherited as the child of God. So let us do it and be happy inwardly.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
A gloomy Introspection (a short story)
There was that age old banyan tree and that summer afternoon silently with eyes closed Samar was lost in a mental world where he glided from one crest to another crest of his past life. His past life as a Post Graduate student of Berhampur University appeared to take evanescent forms. The memories reeled and his heart pumped more blood as he relived the past.
He remembered his obsolete and thereby unique 1978 modeled Yezdi Motor Bike which had been his faithful companion in those days. Nobody used to ride such a old model bike by that time. It used to consume a lot of petrol and used to make a lot of noise while moving past road. He also remembered how few girls pressed their ears at the sound of his motor-cycle in mockery. The students of his time had adopted 4-stroke bikes but he was not financially well-off to replace his 2-stroke Yezdi Motor cycle and buy a new bike. As a private tutor he used to earn a paltry amount but never stopped enjoying life. Although there were occasional hardships but he had never been distressed beyond toleration.Life was from hand to mouth and seemed to perpetuate in that same monotonous fashion till his last breath.
The memory of his girl friend flashed out in his mind. Now she was a distant dream. The time changed rapidly and his girl friend drifted away in some unknown direction. He had neither any regret about it nor any expectation from her but he wished he could have been more affectionate and understanding towards her when she was with him. He felt miserable because he had lost her and now he could not amend his ruthless past behavior which he had shown to her. She was a fine girl. She had clung to him in spite of numerous ups and downs but finally he had betrayed her. That was his life and he felt burdened because he could not be also a good lover.
Man loves to think that he is perfect and he labels all external forces as the conspirators who are constantly robbing him of his perfection. For the last 9years Samar had blamed everyone and everything except for himself for his unrealized dreams and his sad life. But a long period of gloomy introspection convinced him to blame none but him.
After getting a post graduate degree he appeared numerous interviews. Because of his smartness and pleasant demeanor he clicked in many trivial jobs but he could not achieve anything substantial. It is because Life needs a background of thorough preparation before granting someone with an enormous success. He lacked that thorough preparation. He believed vainly that he is unparalleled and outstanding and he missed requisite hard labour. As a result his life languished on the run way and could not take off into the limitless blue sky. A lot of potentialities could not bloom. The life of Samar showed a downward curve.
A lot of young men with enormous potentialities pass the world unnoticed and unknown because they never felt that hard labour is that which finally counts in launching life to the heights of everyone’s dream.
He remembered his obsolete and thereby unique 1978 modeled Yezdi Motor Bike which had been his faithful companion in those days. Nobody used to ride such a old model bike by that time. It used to consume a lot of petrol and used to make a lot of noise while moving past road. He also remembered how few girls pressed their ears at the sound of his motor-cycle in mockery. The students of his time had adopted 4-stroke bikes but he was not financially well-off to replace his 2-stroke Yezdi Motor cycle and buy a new bike. As a private tutor he used to earn a paltry amount but never stopped enjoying life. Although there were occasional hardships but he had never been distressed beyond toleration.Life was from hand to mouth and seemed to perpetuate in that same monotonous fashion till his last breath.
The memory of his girl friend flashed out in his mind. Now she was a distant dream. The time changed rapidly and his girl friend drifted away in some unknown direction. He had neither any regret about it nor any expectation from her but he wished he could have been more affectionate and understanding towards her when she was with him. He felt miserable because he had lost her and now he could not amend his ruthless past behavior which he had shown to her. She was a fine girl. She had clung to him in spite of numerous ups and downs but finally he had betrayed her. That was his life and he felt burdened because he could not be also a good lover.
Man loves to think that he is perfect and he labels all external forces as the conspirators who are constantly robbing him of his perfection. For the last 9years Samar had blamed everyone and everything except for himself for his unrealized dreams and his sad life. But a long period of gloomy introspection convinced him to blame none but him.
After getting a post graduate degree he appeared numerous interviews. Because of his smartness and pleasant demeanor he clicked in many trivial jobs but he could not achieve anything substantial. It is because Life needs a background of thorough preparation before granting someone with an enormous success. He lacked that thorough preparation. He believed vainly that he is unparalleled and outstanding and he missed requisite hard labour. As a result his life languished on the run way and could not take off into the limitless blue sky. A lot of potentialities could not bloom. The life of Samar showed a downward curve.
A lot of young men with enormous potentialities pass the world unnoticed and unknown because they never felt that hard labour is that which finally counts in launching life to the heights of everyone’s dream.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Some thing about my three days
13th October 2010
The day was as usual but every one of our staff was in a hurry to leave the office for puja vacation. All of us were wishing each other a prosperous and joyful Dasahara & we all hoped to see each other on the opening day of our college i.e. on 27th October. But we all knew that we will miss one Miss Champa Nayak of our college on that day.
On the eve of Dasahara vacation Miss Champa, the junior lecturer in zoology tendered her resignation letter to the principal. She was the first among the lecturers to leave the job in quest of other avenues of life. Her resignation made us rethink about our future and career.
That evening almost all the staff left Govindapally for their native places but I stayed at Govindapally for two days more as my train reservation was for 15th Oct. I was doubly sad during those two days because I was all alone on the headquarters and further in this puja vacation I had to leave my wife at her paternal home as she was in the 6th month of her pregnancy. All were expecting a junior edition of my being and were very happy but for the next few months I had to live a solitary life.
That day I was looking at my wife when she was folding my dress and packing them up for the up-coming journey. She was looking very beautiful and with her presence not only the room and but also the whole house looked beautiful. But inwardly I was sadder because I had to miss her beauty and love for some time.
The morning was full of household work. Everything had to be kept safely before locking the house for the next 10 days. The house had a leaking roof so in our absence the rain supposed to be a great threat to all the household items. When there was rain we used to displace the household articles to safety. The rainwater had a peculiar style to affect us depending its tempo. So it was somewhat unpredictable to determine the safe points of our house. So we had to take resort to Polythene sheets. That morning we covered the important appliances with polythene sheets and locked the doors. The hired taxi was ready and on the ‘S’-shaped jungle road we set out for the state-capital.
15th October,2010
I walked around the Bhubaneswar railway station holding gently the soft hands of my wife. She was walking with little difficulties. It was the sixth month of her pregnancy and her movement was little slow. We came out of the station to buy our lunch packets. The Big sign board of HOTEL RICH caught our eyes and at the same time the memory linked with that hotel also flashed in our mind. Once we both had been to that hotel. That day we were really in a hurry because our train was about to approach the station in less than an hour. But the waiter had taken a long time to serve the food as a result we had to gobble up the food in such a hurry that the meal seemed tasteless. This time we thought not to enter that hotel and bought our food instantly from a small Dhaba by the road side at a far lesser price.
The day was as usual but every one of our staff was in a hurry to leave the office for puja vacation. All of us were wishing each other a prosperous and joyful Dasahara & we all hoped to see each other on the opening day of our college i.e. on 27th October. But we all knew that we will miss one Miss Champa Nayak of our college on that day.
On the eve of Dasahara vacation Miss Champa, the junior lecturer in zoology tendered her resignation letter to the principal. She was the first among the lecturers to leave the job in quest of other avenues of life. Her resignation made us rethink about our future and career.
That evening almost all the staff left Govindapally for their native places but I stayed at Govindapally for two days more as my train reservation was for 15th Oct. I was doubly sad during those two days because I was all alone on the headquarters and further in this puja vacation I had to leave my wife at her paternal home as she was in the 6th month of her pregnancy. All were expecting a junior edition of my being and were very happy but for the next few months I had to live a solitary life.
That day I was looking at my wife when she was folding my dress and packing them up for the up-coming journey. She was looking very beautiful and with her presence not only the room and but also the whole house looked beautiful. But inwardly I was sadder because I had to miss her beauty and love for some time.
Tomorrow I shall set out for Balasore to leave my wife at her parents. It is true that during the carrying stage a wife needs her husband most by her side. But I am undone. I cannot stay with her nor she can. She had to go to her parents against her will. She can not stay with me at Govindapally till her delivery because the place is too remote. In addition, the naxals call strikes frequently and unexpectedly and as a result all sort of communication is disruppted all of a sudden. This grim situation can even linger for days together. Last but not the least the medical facility is also not so well.
My wife feels bitter at the thought of her separation from me and the same is also with me. But which cannot be cured must be endured.
14th October 2010My wife feels bitter at the thought of her separation from me and the same is also with me. But which cannot be cured must be endured.
The morning was full of household work. Everything had to be kept safely before locking the house for the next 10 days. The house had a leaking roof so in our absence the rain supposed to be a great threat to all the household items. When there was rain we used to displace the household articles to safety. The rainwater had a peculiar style to affect us depending its tempo. So it was somewhat unpredictable to determine the safe points of our house. So we had to take resort to Polythene sheets. That morning we covered the important appliances with polythene sheets and locked the doors. The hired taxi was ready and on the ‘S’-shaped jungle road we set out for the state-capital.
15th October,2010
I walked around the Bhubaneswar railway station holding gently the soft hands of my wife. She was walking with little difficulties. It was the sixth month of her pregnancy and her movement was little slow. We came out of the station to buy our lunch packets. The Big sign board of HOTEL RICH caught our eyes and at the same time the memory linked with that hotel also flashed in our mind. Once we both had been to that hotel. That day we were really in a hurry because our train was about to approach the station in less than an hour. But the waiter had taken a long time to serve the food as a result we had to gobble up the food in such a hurry that the meal seemed tasteless. This time we thought not to enter that hotel and bought our food instantly from a small Dhaba by the road side at a far lesser price.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Some words of appreciation and the after thought.
In an essay about “your class teacher” the students of my college wrote very highly of my teaching style and my over all personality. The words of appreciation seemed exaggerated with respect to my real sense of commitment and duty. For a few moments I felt about the important role a teacher plays in shaping the young minds of the students. A little effort also has a far-reaching influence on the minds of the students. So it becomes mandatory on the part of the teacher to disseminate the best ideas and the best life-skills to his students religiously. The selfless activities will go in giving a meaning to the new generation.
Staying in the remote parts of the tribal regions we have been accustomed to give our teaching service to the society. Sometimes the dream of a prosperous city life allures us and cause displeasure. Often a sense of frustration also grips but a spiritual interpretation of life lived here in the service of the backward sections of our society gives a profound self esteem.
It has been more than four years that we have stayed in a small village and have constantly rendered our service for educating the tribal youths. Life is full of routine activity. Two principals have been changed on transfer during these four years but we stay in the same station unchanged and unmoved. Every black cloud has its silver lining. The four years have taught us to be more like a teacher. The professional attitude of a teacher is slowly developed. The calm disposition and gravity of a teaching professional are gradually inculcated.
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