A gloomy Introspection (a short story)

There was that age old banyan tree and that summer afternoon silently with eyes closed Samar was lost in a mental world where he glided from one crest to another crest of his past life. His past life as a Post Graduate student of Berhampur University appeared to take evanescent forms. The memories reeled and his heart pumped more blood as he relived the past.

He remembered his obsolete and thereby unique 1978 modeled Yezdi Motor Bike which had been his faithful companion in those days. Nobody used to ride such a old model bike by that time. It used to consume a lot of petrol and used to make a lot of noise while moving past road. He also remembered how few girls pressed their ears at the sound of his motor-cycle in mockery. The students of his time had adopted 4-stroke bikes but he was not financially well-off to replace his 2-stroke Yezdi Motor cycle and buy a new bike. As a private tutor he used to earn a paltry amount but never stopped enjoying life. Although there were occasional hardships but he had never been distressed beyond toleration.Life was from hand to mouth and seemed to perpetuate in that same monotonous fashion till his last breath.
The memory of his girl friend flashed out in his mind. Now she was a distant dream. The time changed rapidly and his girl friend drifted away in some unknown direction. He had neither any regret about it nor any expectation from her but he wished he could have been more affectionate and understanding towards her when she was with him. He felt miserable because he had lost her and now he could not amend his ruthless past behavior which he had shown to her. She was a fine girl. She had clung to him in spite of numerous ups and downs but finally he had betrayed her. That was his life and he felt burdened because he could not be also a good lover.

Man loves to think that he is perfect and he labels all external forces as the conspirators who are constantly robbing him of his perfection. For the last 9years Samar had blamed everyone and everything except for himself for his unrealized dreams and his sad life. But a long period of gloomy introspection convinced him to blame none but him.

After getting a post graduate degree he appeared numerous interviews. Because of his smartness and pleasant demeanor he clicked in many trivial jobs but he could not achieve anything substantial. It is because Life needs a background of thorough preparation before granting someone with an enormous success. He lacked that thorough preparation. He believed vainly that he is unparalleled and outstanding and he missed requisite hard labour. As a result his life languished on the run way and could not take off into the limitless blue sky. A lot of potentialities could not bloom. The life of Samar showed a downward curve.

A lot of young men with enormous potentialities pass the world unnoticed and unknown because they never felt that hard labour is that which finally counts in launching life to the heights of everyone’s dream.