A person in power and responsibility

A person in power and responsibility must use his influence to enrich the lives of those who are the most deserving. Nepotism and favoritism should be avoided because they are antithesis to a life of morality. Man in power has to be sensitive enough to hear the subtle voice of conscience. The indication of his conscience should guide his way of life. He must be Idealistic and must have all conscious considerations before implementing a decision. Power comes with enormous responsibilities. A person who discharges his responsibilities in conformity with moral principles becomes an invincible life force for the humanity. The life of Mahatma Gandhi is a beacon light to such high standards of human existence.

What does our political leaders and bureaucrats do? Don't their hearts bleed at the sight of the poverty and wretchedness of life? Why do they turn a deaf ear when the deprived mass cry with empty stomach and heart full of grievances? Is it not their moral responsibility to endeavor honestly to sort out the problems of the common mass who have reposed their faith on the legislature and bureaucracy? The irony is that a person in power often goes into a deep slumber in his air-conditioned cosy chamber. And the high hopes of the deprived mass dash to the grounds.

Diwali 2010

Yesternight slowly I slipped into the celebration mood by 6.30pm. In the morning I was not enchanted with the festivity of Diwali.But Dr. Jayprakash,the V.S.of Khairput ringed and arranged a get to gether of friends in my quarter.I could not turn down his request.Sairam and shirish joined with us.The crackers were lit. Very safely we cracked the crackers.I was over cautious because I remembered my last year's burnt.A 2 meter long pipe was brought and the crackers were fixed at the tip of the pipe and from a good distance with the help of the pipe we lit them. It was really safe and more enjoying. After an hour we started preparing the dishes. I prepared Payas and J.P. cooked all other dishes.

My wife was in her paternal house.She missed me and was upset because since our marriage we have never celebrated Diwali together.In the night she was crying because of one or more reasons. I tried to console her,tried to understand her but failed. In some way the occassion was a mixture of happiness and pining for the loved ones.

I shall live and enjoy my constant evolvement

With crossed fingers and a meditative mind I sat vigilantly to catch my rising thoughts which may benefit me later. I became silent and sensitive to the faintly whispering voices within me. I drew myself from the outer distractions and listened carefully to my inner voice. I started a monologue and got flashing responses. My being responded and my mind started to dictate the mental waves in word equivalents. The fingers typed and the dreams took lively forms.I am happy because I am not blank. I am happy because I am sensitive. I am responding to my self in my thought level. I am able to create or recycle human intelligence. I am a part of the infinite intelligence and I keep contact with that bountiful source of life. So my improvement in the thought level is inevitable. I won't become a corpse. I shall live and enjoy my constant evolvement.

Reopening The Doors to Spiritual Bliss

Moving on the sandy sea of desert, water can not be obtained.Treading over the cushion of sense-pleasure, the nectar of life can not be tested.Most often what we aspire for remain elusive beause the approaches adopted to reah at them are wrong.

Vivekananda beautifully reminds us this truth when he says, "All help comes from inside and not from outside." We are lost in the burning heats and the blinding flashes of the outside desert so absorbingly that we become blind to the inner fountain of joy which ever flows inside of every human soul.We just need to reopen the doors of our heart to this inner wealth of spiritual joy.

The reoppening of the doors of our hearts is simply a new angle of pereption which will help realize the true beauty and meaning of our existence..In the mercenary ativities of life we forget the simple joys of life. We knowingly get confused and befooled in the trivial affairs of life only to avoid the divine joy of a spiritual living.We know it better that a little intoxiation of spiritual bliss can dissolve our petty egoes and can thus enforce a higher form of spiritual living. But we deliberately keep clinging to our miniature self because we fear expansion. Expansion will disintegrate and dissolve our lowly self.But we love our lowly self so dearly that we constantly avoid the invitations of all sacred calls of almighty.So What we need is a reopenning of doors to our own spiritual bliss which we have inherited as the child of God. So let us do it and be happy inwardly.

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A gloomy Introspection (a short story)

There was that age old banyan tree and that summer afternoon silently with eyes closed Samar was lost in a mental world where he glided from one crest to another crest of his past life. His past life as a Post Graduate student of Berhampur University appeared to take evanescent forms. The memories reeled and his heart pumped more blood as he relived the past.

He remembered his obsolete and thereby unique 1978 modeled Yezdi Motor Bike which had been his faithful companion in those days. Nobody used to ride such a old model bike by that time. It used to consume a lot of petrol and used to make a lot of noise while moving past road. He also remembered how few girls pressed their ears at the sound of his motor-cycle in mockery. The students of his time had adopted 4-stroke bikes but he was not financially well-off to replace his 2-stroke Yezdi Motor cycle and buy a new bike. As a private tutor he used to earn a paltry amount but never stopped enjoying life. Although there were occasional hardships but he had never been distressed beyond toleration.Life was from hand to mouth and seemed to perpetuate in that same monotonous fashion till his last breath.
The memory of his girl friend flashed out in his mind. Now she was a distant dream. The time changed rapidly and his girl friend drifted away in some unknown direction. He had neither any regret about it nor any expectation from her but he wished he could have been more affectionate and understanding towards her when she was with him. He felt miserable because he had lost her and now he could not amend his ruthless past behavior which he had shown to her. She was a fine girl. She had clung to him in spite of numerous ups and downs but finally he had betrayed her. That was his life and he felt burdened because he could not be also a good lover.

Man loves to think that he is perfect and he labels all external forces as the conspirators who are constantly robbing him of his perfection. For the last 9years Samar had blamed everyone and everything except for himself for his unrealized dreams and his sad life. But a long period of gloomy introspection convinced him to blame none but him.

After getting a post graduate degree he appeared numerous interviews. Because of his smartness and pleasant demeanor he clicked in many trivial jobs but he could not achieve anything substantial. It is because Life needs a background of thorough preparation before granting someone with an enormous success. He lacked that thorough preparation. He believed vainly that he is unparalleled and outstanding and he missed requisite hard labour. As a result his life languished on the run way and could not take off into the limitless blue sky. A lot of potentialities could not bloom. The life of Samar showed a downward curve.

A lot of young men with enormous potentialities pass the world unnoticed and unknown because they never felt that hard labour is that which finally counts in launching life to the heights of everyone’s dream.

Some thing about my three days

13th October 2010


The day was as usual but every one of our staff was in a hurry to leave the office for puja vacation. All of us were wishing each other a prosperous and joyful Dasahara & we all hoped to see each other on the opening day of our college i.e. on 27th October. But we all knew that we will miss one Miss Champa Nayak of our college on that day.

On the eve of Dasahara vacation Miss Champa, the junior lecturer in zoology tendered her resignation letter to the principal. She was the first among the lecturers to leave the job in quest of other avenues of life. Her resignation made us rethink about our future and career.

That evening almost all the staff left Govindapally for their native places but I stayed at Govindapally for two days more as my train reservation was for 15th Oct. I was doubly sad during those two days because I was all alone on the headquarters and further in this puja vacation I had to leave my wife at her paternal home as she was in the 6th month of her pregnancy. All were expecting a junior edition of my being and were very happy but for the next few months I had to live a solitary life.

That day I was looking at my wife when she was folding my dress and packing them up for the up-coming journey. She was looking very beautiful and with her presence not only the room and but also the whole house looked beautiful. But  inwardly I was sadder because  I had to miss her beauty and love for some time.

Tomorrow I shall set out for Balasore to leave my wife at her parents. It is true that during the carrying stage a wife needs her husband most by her side. But I am undone. I cannot stay with her nor she can. She had to go to her parents against her will. She can not stay with me at Govindapally till her delivery because the place is too remote. In addition, the naxals call strikes frequently and unexpectedly and as a result all sort of communication is disruppted all of a sudden. This grim situation can even linger for days together. Last but not the least the medical facility is also not so well.


My wife feels bitter at the thought of  her separation from me and the same is also with me. But which cannot be cured must be endured.

14th October 2010

The morning was full of household work. Everything had to be kept safely before locking the house for the next 10 days. The house had a leaking roof so in our absence the rain supposed to be a great threat to all the household items. When there was rain we used to displace the household articles to safety. The rainwater had a peculiar style to affect us depending its tempo. So it was somewhat unpredictable to determine the safe points of our house. So we had to take resort to Polythene sheets. That morning we covered the important appliances with polythene sheets and locked the doors. The hired taxi was ready and on the ‘S’-shaped jungle road we set out for the state-capital.

15th October,2010

I walked around the Bhubaneswar railway station holding gently the soft hands of my wife. She was walking with little difficulties. It was the sixth month of her pregnancy and her movement was little slow. We came out of the station to buy our lunch packets. The Big sign board of HOTEL RICH caught our eyes and at the same time the memory linked with that hotel also flashed in our mind. Once we both had been to that hotel. That day we were really in a hurry because our train was about to approach the station in less than an hour. But the waiter had taken a long time to serve the food as a result we had to gobble up the food in such a hurry that the meal seemed tasteless. This time we thought not to enter that hotel and bought our food instantly from a small Dhaba by the road side at a far lesser price.

Some words of appreciation and the after thought.

In an essay about “your class teacher” the students of my college wrote very highly of my teaching style and my over all personality. The words of appreciation seemed exaggerated with respect to my real sense of commitment and duty. For a few moments I felt about the important role a teacher plays in shaping the young minds of the students. A little effort also has a far-reaching influence on the minds of the students. So it becomes mandatory on the part of the teacher to disseminate the best ideas and the best life-skills to his students religiously. The selfless activities will go in giving a meaning to the new generation.

Staying in the remote parts of the tribal regions we have been accustomed to give our teaching service to the society. Sometimes the dream of a prosperous city life allures us and cause displeasure. Often a sense of frustration also grips but a spiritual interpretation of life lived here in the service of the backward sections of our society gives a profound self esteem.

It has been more than four years that we have stayed in a small village and have constantly rendered our service for educating the tribal youths. Life is full of routine activity. Two principals have been changed on transfer during these four years but we stay in the same station unchanged and unmoved. Every black cloud has its silver lining. The four years have taught us to be more like a teacher. The professional attitude of a teacher is slowly developed. The calm disposition and gravity of a teaching professional are gradually inculcated.

Training At RTI, Bhubaneswar.

All the junior lecturers and  PGTs of ST/SC Development Department of Govt of Orissa were called for a refresher course at ST/SC Research Training Institute at CRP square Bhubaneswar. The get-together of the old friends at the same place after a long time gap of 4 years was really a big treat. The Refresher course was simply a name and meeting each other was the real fun and game.However, some of the participants had come to the training programme leaving their families unattended in the remote pockets of KBK districts.So at times the memory of their family made them conscious to finish the course at once and move back to their work station as soon as possible.

During the course we happened to sit in the conference hall for 7 hours like the school children.It revived the old habit of our school days.The educational out put was spiced with a strong fellow-feeling. To some extent we had become more alert, more innovative and smart.The refresher course was capable of dispensing the student's point of view to the teachers who sat in the programme like the students of a school.

On that day I was completely drenched. The rain coat was of little use. And I had to cover another 40 kilometres on my bike. The road was lonely. Road side trees were the only visible companions. The rain was showering sporadically. On my way I saw a school boy walking in the direction of my journey . I stopped my bike near the boy and told him to come with me. He accepted my offer and placed himself on the back seat. We rode away and after covering two or more kilometres, the boy wanted to get down. I thought in my mind that as the boy belonged to a tribal community and they were not exposed to the CULTURED MANNERS of civilisation, expecting a word like 'THANKS' from him was meaningless. Without any such expectation of words of thanks, I left the boy at his destination. And before taking leave from the boy my eyes met with his eyes, suddenly a beautiful smile of happiness came from his heart and lit up his tender face. That beautiful expression on his face warmed my rain drenched being and I rode all the way without looking back remembering and weighing the emptiness of artificial cultured mannerism on one side with the pure human expression of heart.

Writing a book.

"Write a book which you often think to read but none has written it yet." This line touched my heart readily and made me write it in my blogpost. For a moment I pondered what things I have dreamt for and why I have

LOOKING ONE SELF AT THE MIRROR AFTER A FEW MONTHS

For the last few months I had not used the mirror to see my physical appearance intently. I mean, I used to comb my hair hurriedly and used to set out for my office. As a result I was not conscious of the age factor which had started to show its sign on my appearance. But recently after taking a little physical exercise when I viewed my sweating body on the mirror I saw that I looked very old and matured. I was startled for a moment because my body language, way of talking and behavior pattern which were seemingly youthful and teen-age-like mismatched my physical appearance. I soon realized that I have to adopt a composed disposition which will complement my appearance and in turn will earn more respect from others. My nature of job requires spending most of my time with the teen-agers. Consequently the effects and psychological influences of the youngsters lessen the seriousness which normally comes with the growing of age. I have never been serious or thoughtful about the time that has already been robbed of me. Such lack of seriousness makes life’s valuable time fly unnoticeably.

What should be the solution to such human failures? I had read somewhere that a habit of contemplation on a regular basis on one’s own life will beacon a right direction to live life more purposefully.

Moving towards Positivity.

Bringing our thinking process to nobler and more positive direction is always aspired for but this seemingly easy task can not be attained all of a sudden. The mind has to be lead inch by inch in the desired direction. A conscious effort is an essential factor for realizing this goal. Mind tends to be lazy and floats with the previously accustomed thought-flow. Such usual and habitual thinking processes set the human faculty languish in a limited sphere. The meaning of life is narrowed to few routine bound activities and as a result the higher aspects of life remain undiscovered and untapped. Most often most of the human beings love to remain as they are. But life is the name of change and our resistance to the unchangeable natural  law of change will not set us free from it. However, man can redirect his resistive potency to work upon facilitating his march towards a conscious evolution.

Good thoughts release higher powers. Tapping the creativity of human intelligence eliminates  ennui and emptiness of life which has become a characteristic mark of modern man. Our complacency and utter lazyness keep us revolving in a vicious circle directionless. To overcome such a habitative monotonous state a launching force has to be mustered and this accumulation of potency is best done by constant association with noble thoughts with creative edge to make life beautiful.

LIFE LIVED FOR TRIFLES.

The thinking faculty of most man run downward easily but to raise the level of mental thoughts is too difficult and needs consistency in efforts. Man loves to run in the opposite direction of his real goals and deliberately move away from self-realization. But sometimes, in some emotive situations of life he can not but thank the unseen force for endowing a life that is a mystery but bears testimony to a unspeakable divine beauty. At such moments of life man is awaken to cast his eyes to those supreme aspects of life to which he has always liked to neglect.

We neglect the higher values of life because we fear that we might be lost in the infinitude of a spiritual expansion. But a life lived for trifles is no use. The length of human life is so short-lived that the neglect of the higher possibilities of human conciousness is our greatest folly.

Today Evening

Today evening I feel inwardly happy and in the same proportion of my felt happiness I feel for others in a philanthropic zeal. This high spirits might have been induced by the two cups of strong tea which I have consumed this evening. Although the sky was cloudy and it was finely drizzling, I came out of my house and rode on my bike to Balimela square. I was alone or so to say I was left lonely because Mr. Bhoi and Mr. Patra had left for the market without waiting for me. In the evening I had dropped my tutorial class as most of the students had caught flu. I was careful because if I caught flu then it will surely affect my wife and the little one in her womb. Rain is conducive to growth of both disease and greenery. And I am affected by both of them. The wild plants around my quarter have grown so much and so irregularly that the growth looks like a mini jungle. A slender trail leads through the outgrowths to my house. I used to manoeuvr my bike on the twisted track to reach the veranda. I carefully ride my bike so I have never faced any accident while moving on the slimy trail. The trail leads from my house to a concrete road. The rain water and blue green algae have made the concrete dangerously slippery. And two times I have slipped very precariously on it. But for my bike's heavy leg-guard my knees and legs are still in working condition. This time this much. See you tomorrow.

My adjustment with the rain.

This year the rain brought much inconvenience to my family. The crying roof of the Government quarter wetted most clothes and the sunshine played hide and sick resulting half dried smelly clothes. And even spraying high doses of deoderant showed little effect. Practically, it was not an apt solution to the low-pressure caused monsoon rain, which lingered for days. In quest of a solution to my problem I went to the market to buy a big-sized tarpaulin sheet. I thought I will cover the entire roof and put an end to the annoying trouble instantly. But the easily approachable solution was postponed when the shop-keeper asked me about the intended size of the water proof material. I returned home to conduct a survey and measure the roof area. But that day I did not take up the survey and it is still pending. . . . . . . . The high-tech man of 20th century expects all solution to his problems in exchange of some paper money and any short of physical labour is postponed because we love to live on other's labour.

Hurt never, love ever.

To hurt someone's feelings is perhaps one of the most venial sins. Sin against others is sin against God. But we forget this truth now and then. To feed our ego many times we care not others' sentiments. If the other side is little obstinate then even a little matter easily and readily turns into a matter of bitter arguments and long lasting rancour. But after the heat subsides if an insightful analysis is made, our seer foolishness starts to float on surface. Any one with a little sense can realize that Life is short but we are engaged in the most unproductive and unhealthy sides of life. Such ill habits will drag life to utter futility. Let there be tolerance and the godly qualities of Jesus on cross, who could pray in his last painful moments for the redemption of the wrong-doers, who had crucified him. cross.

The pulsating baby in womb.

On 9th July, my wife was taken to the hospital for check up as she had conceived. I went with her to the ultra-sonography chamber. There I saw the embryonic form of my baby which was pulsating in the womb. A smile of happiness filled my lips. To see the baby in its pre-natal development was a pleasant treat for me.

A wake up call of 23 years back.

That night mother yelled with great pain and was rushed to the near by hospital.At that time I was a boy of 9 years and I could understand little about what happened. I was sitting on a chair in the hospital in a half sleepy state. My father took me to a doctors quarter and I slept there. Early in the morning father came and woke me up and told me that my mother had given birth to a baby-girl. I went to the hospital and discovered the new little guest wrapped in a white Turkish towel. I had to wait till she opened her eyes to give a cry for some liquid food. I remember that a piece of cotton was soaked in honey mixed water and that cotton had to be squeezed in her mouth to give her nourishment. The next day I found that the little human form had acquired great skill in sucking the cotton and there was no need to squeeze the cotton in her mouth. She sucked the honey-water from the cotton of her own accord. That little girl grew, went to school, then to college,learned to cover distance by driving car, actively became a part of my family and one day left her parental home , married and went away with her husband. 

Sweet memories  that came by way of her long stay of 23 years before my eyes are ever preserved with me and my other family members. The day I left her in her father's in law I thought I could have been more good towards her if I had known that how soon she will be away from me to take charge of  someone's family.

A simple thank at an unexpected hour.

The night was spent in the train compartment. The major enjoyment in the train was to take the food which is paddled inside the compartment. My last journey from Koraput to BBSR in the same train  was painful because nothing was available on board to take during the journey. But this time the situations had improved and few peddlers were selling their products to the physically less but psychologically more hungry travellers. In the morning of 26th I woke up when the train had already passed Berhampur station. At khorda road the compartment got packed with the daily passengers and the passengers with reservations had to shrink to make room  for the daily passengers. I was on my seat and a lady of age around 21 stood by my side. I didn't offered her to sit by my side for a few minutes then I felt the general courtesy in my mind and indicated her to sit by my side with a gentle wave of hand.It is true that such courtesy  is common,on the part of male passengers and in the same frequency it is equally common on the part of the modern girls to walk away without telling even a courteous thank to the passenger with the reservation .

When the destination came and I was about to leave the compartment I heard a beautiful voice coming from my back and thanking me in the sweetest manner for my recently shown courtesy. I was amazed and out of curosity asked my fellow traveller " Are you a student ?". She replied very politely, " No sir, I am a service holder in the Reliance company." I wished her all success in her service carrier while getting down  and at the same time I told myself, " Ma'am, it is because of girls like you only that the RELIANCE on women is still existing although very feebly.

Sleep time.

Generally the long day winds up at the sleep time. The loss and gain of the day is calculated. Some lessons are learnt and some milestones in life are crossed. Today in a half sleepy state I feel like . . . . 


(few days latter from the garbage of drafted posts I recovered these lines but could not recollect the feelings which had prompted me to write the lines.)

Deep relations need more care.

Many a time we fail to fathom the depth of intimate relations. We never understand their true value unless they are broken or lost. Most of the time we take such relations for granted and surpass the delicacy of the relation. And such neglect develops ego problems which may later turn into violent consequences if not checked at the right time. Every sweet and long relationship has deep roots so they must be cared delicately.

Hope

Man lives by hope. Hope is the best antidote to the ill effects of frustrations and failures. A generous person with his hopeful words and consolations can really relieve a heart from desperation. Hope rejuvenates sagging human efforts and infuses new strength. So in the darkest hours also it is wise to hope for a glorious new morning. If your hope is fulfilled then it is a victory and even if it is not fulfilled you are no loser. However, it is really a sin to give someone a false hope without any grain of sincerity. Giving hopes to others is a good quality but becoming committed to fulfill them in due time is a divine virtue. Hope can work miracles. In a micro level it may enriche a single individual but in the macro level it can start a revolution. Let us hope for a world of peace and harmony and put efforts unitedly for its realization and start to feel the all-absorbing and all-changing effects of a powerful collective hope.

Let all Blessings Descend Upon You.

After the engagement of my sister on 23rd May, when my would be brother in law and my sister bowed down to seek my blessings, I felt the most powerful & the strongest feelings of blessings spontaneously filling my heart and overpowering me. I blessed them with all my heart and at the same time earnestly prayed the Almighty for their well-being in the forthcoming phase of life.

The moment was divine and the fine feelings of that moment have no material equivalent nor any exchangeable value.Those feelings were exclusively  of the mind and that of the spirit. And on that very occasion I realized why our culture advocates for every   marriage to take place with the wholehearted consents of the elders.It is because a marriage which takes place with the happy consent and blessings of the elders pulls spiritual energy like a strong magnet from the environment and the people around them.

The Magnifying Glass Of Frustration.

Some times extreme mental disturbance and unrest induce a strong desire for some mental appeasement. Most often such sought after mental consolation comes by following one's preferred  creative pursuits. For example after bitterly falling out with the family members , an individual may withdraw himself from active participation with the outer world and he/she may take up a creative pursuit like writing a poem or painting or reading a good book or listening to music so as to relieve himself/herself from the agonized mind. Such temporary withdrawal  of a person from the busy world  reconnects the individual with the  heavenly gifted  inner resources  embedded in his person . Sometimes such incidents help that person to rediscover his/her own being more accurately.

Many a time the most beautiful thing in life come after the most  discouraging experience.Many a time we discover the rainbow only after experiencing the inconvenience rain. Moreover. it is a truth that the sweetest songs come only from a heart which is broken and life is rightly understood with the magnifying glass of frustration. 

A few days' Break .

A few days’ break from the habit of creative thinking  slipped me  into monotony and reduced drastically my sensitivity to life. Day by day the fine feelings freely flowing hitherto in my mind got slashed both in number and in magnitude and started to become more and more coarse. A few trivial affairs of a routine life used to eat up the total time of the day. And I found myself as if tightly stuck to a hard immovable substratum. I knew such a life had no progress. But life got stuck very deadly and I could not even sit meditatively for a few moments. It is because I had started to appreciate my gradual animal like transformation. The Animals whose lives center around only few basic necessities and who are happy with a bellyful of eatables and in fulfilling some biological necessities became synonymous with my way of living. I found no line of difference between myself and a cow moving in the market place dumb. My slothful idle days of the Summer Vacation and the life style of straying cattle had little difference. I was more sorrowful because I didn’t feel any positive inward wish to overthrow such a way of life.

In a trap of such mental lethargy and agony I closed my eyes and mentally viewed the world around me. I was seeking in my heart a little emotional and spiritual warmth which was missing in me for a long time…..slowly in my mental eye the image of Jagannath temple of my home town was formed and I felt a little stir of emotion and a sparkle of the divine. It happened because I remembered how the Public was motivated and united by a religious allegiance to construct that temple. Most of the inhabitants of Tikabali (my home town) had joined their hands unreservedly and a nearby hilltop was developed to shelter the deities. At present the charming spot is a chief attraction of the town and bears the testimony of united efforts of some human beings. The flag of the temple shows the beauty of harmonious working and a royal road which can make life more beautiful and noble.  

New inspirations twinkle with prayer.

When man is fully defeated, he resigns himself to the provident and to some unseen power. When he feels that life has gone awry and life itself is on the verge of gradual disintegration, he starts to pray to some unseen almighty under a psychological compulsion.   It is a natural recourse because prayers shield us from our negative feelings of littleness and inferiority. Prayers instill faith and dissolve the mental blockades. Prayer is an exercise of imagining something beyond imagination and human faculties. And this healthy exercise expands the range of perception to life and fresh inspiration twinkle to lead life more meaningfully. 

Standing on life's long road

Standing on life's long road
The eyes cast ahead
Expectant looks
Of green trees
And gently tossing flowers.



But on the way
Life cruelly displays
Signboards
Of RETREAT.
And discouragement.



To riot the mind
With Dreams of the Mahatma,
High ambitions,
Collapsing faith
And the wretched wolfish motives.



In the course
Time flies.
The sun sets.
The little story is wound up.
And a vanquished is born somewhere.


Learning the ABC's of life
Only to let out
Long sighs and weak moans
Fighting a hard battle
Single handedly…..

Very tired because there was a lot of movement on the congested roads of berhampur and the comfort of home was missing. Money has to be spent like water for everything now and then. A single day's stay would mean an expenditure of some thousand rupees. Life is not at all comfortable if you are not ready to spend like a king. However, spending unreservedly may make you comfortable but not peaceful.

My journey to berhampur on 7th May, 2010

In the morning I set out to berhampur with my father, sister and wife. The journey was pleasant. We made it more enjoyable by taking up sugar cane juice available on the way side trolleys. The journey took almost 4 hours. Although I occasionally I drive, that day I did all the driving. We were about to reach at the destination and I was passing through a busy road. I noticed most cyclists are cunningly trying to maneouvre through the little gaps between the vehicles and making the traffic more knotty. At that time all my attention was dragged by a sudden sound of collision. Looking back I discovered that a cyclist has hit the left rear door of my car leaving a fresh deep scar on the body of the vehicle.

My love for books.

Somebody has rightly said that classics are for adorning the bookshelves. I fully agree to this point because many  people buy books but they seldom read them. I am not sure of somebody else doing so but I fail prominently in that category of bibliophiles. I am a good collector of books.Because I spend more time at the bookshop while choosing the book as compared to reading that very book  in my study room. It is because I read a few sentences randomly from a book at the book seller's for the purpose of buying the book for my collection.But in home that intensity of reading is diminished because I do not feel any urgency to read them.

Today under the hot sun of Berhampur I was selecting books from the footpath side vendors. I was profusely seating and feeling uncomfortable but I meticulously went through a good number of books before selecting three books for my bookshelf. I stress the word 'bookshelf' because I know for a long time the books shall remain in some rack of the bookshelf before I get the motivation and time to read them.

Summer vacation

Those who are in the teaching jobs enjoy a longer summer vacation. Normally the annual examination and declaration of results in the educational institutions are followed by summer vacation. This year the educational institutions of Orissa were closed from 20th April on account of terrible heat waves in the state. But the staff of respective institutions had to languor  in the headquarters till 30th April without fail. As a result I was also made to stay at my working place as per the govt instructions.The days were hollowed and vacant as I had little to do at my work station. The  days were mostly spent in idle talks and long sessions of watching TV.  It is because the place, where I am working as a lecturer, is a small cocooned place having nothing to do substantial.  Moreover, the matter is further worsened by the frequent strike-calls by the naxals. Sporadic Naxal violence have completely shattered a citizen's faith  in the Government law and order.. And my prolonged stay for some days in that place at such sensitive phase made me a witness to the anti-social activities of the Maoists.

However, in these days I have given some hours of productive labour to my institution as a committed staff by arranging the library books of the institution in a suitable order. Today I am on the way to my home-town and while waiting for the bus at Jeypore I am in hotel Princess. Smita is chewing chowmin and I wrote the above lines.

Be more Understanding to a house wife

A professional woman has little insecurity but a house wife is always troubled by a pence of insecurity. She might feel that her life is at the mercy of someone else. She is more vulnerable to fear and trauma when her husband fails to give her constant mental support as a counterbalance to her insecurities. A house- wife needs the love of husband more desperately to assuage her insecurities. This should be taken care of by all sensible husbands.

Little joys of life

Life is a constant flow. With time we discover many hitherto unnoticed curves and way side landscapes. Many a times we worry about the tomorrow which we may not see. We often forget that " today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.". Looking too far often obscures the beauty of the near. And we lose the beauty of the present riches. A silent sitting in the evening can be a treat with your own self. Your wife watching television in the next room can bring pleasure to you. So many little things in life are replete with innocent joys of living a simple life. Enjoy them and pray that life always goes on giving such delicate joys in all moments. Switch off the worry torn mind. Forget yourself in a calming silence. And remember all the little joys of life which you have failed to notice in your routine bound life.

Positive imaging

Few people give efforts to expand the horizons of their lives. And you may not be among those few. But it does not mean that you can not become one among them. It is never late to set life's sail in the right direction. Few years back I had read a book by Peale on the title 'Positive Imaging'. It is an inspiring book which reveals that thinking positively and imagining what you want and where you want to be and also feeling so, will drift life in right direction. Every person has unseen possibilities and at any moment those possibilities spur into giant actions. When a good thought is enlivened with positive imaging and faith, it works miracles. Just a little faith and a little consistency will show you up the way. Believe that you are always taken care by a supreme power. Think, plan and do everything silently consulting with His consent, you will never be hurt . Moreover, thoughts like this will greatly infuse in you the knack to appreciate life with innocent joys.

The fear to get lost in the average crowd often grips the mind. The true potential within could not come out in full bloom because of our excessive pre-occupation with the trivialities of life. The under utilization of human faculties disallows greater achievements. The will and efforts to extract the best performance from one's own self always lacks a strong edge. Therefore, constant motivation for a higher growth should be a part of daily thinking. A noble vision accompanied with sincere devoted action will transform our life into a mission. Somewhere I had read that man is endowed with the tremendous power of imagination and divine skills through which he can VISUALIZE, PAYERIZE AND ACTUALIZE all the wonderful things of life. Listen to the inner call. Discover for what noble cause you can spare your whole life-time. Be fully convinced of your convictions. And set out in your life's mission waving the flag of "HELP EVER, HURT NEVER." message. After a tiresome journey if your eyes are closed even on the sands of a hot blazing desert, be assured that your life will be an honourable example of meaningful living.

A visit to Anugul

Anugul district of Odisa is enriched with high-grade coal mines. The coal mines, where open excavation is conducted, are huge man-made gorges. The colossal machines at work are fast stripping the earth of its resources. The air at the mines is too dusty. The fine coal dust particles incessantly cover every open surface. Here, the temperature is rather high. The highways are often sprinkled with water to control the rise of dust powder from the ground

Selfishness

Man is extremely selfish by nature. Most often there are dissensions and quarrels because of unfulfilled self interests.

With you once again.

After a considerable lapse of time as I sit at the dashboard, I feel greatly joyful because in the mean while I have moved past the 31 year milestone of my life. As this is the month of March the educational institutions are all busy in the year-end examinations, so is ours. During this year's exam I am enriched with many new experiences. And the time period when I was unable to update my blog, I was engaged in exam works.

No shortcut to success

In life there is no short cut to success. Wishful dreaming never brings success. Life passes away only in empty dreaming. And the goals of life remain unrealized. The great persons, who have already lived truly purposeful lives, have one thing in common and that is their determined hard labour. Life becomes useful and meaningful in realizing the great virtue of helping others to realize their own dreams. A person will automatically rise to height when he constantly monitors his life for the growth of others. The noble wishes to do good to others activates the untapped divine potentialities of man. Out of thousands of dreams only few dreams are fulfilled. Life gives chances to materialise one's dreams but the chance of the fate needs to meet with hard work of the individual before ushering success.

Holy 2010

Yesterday I was terribly tired and was suffering from acidity of stomach. A nasty headache was troubling me since last night. So in the morning I felt heavy weak and discomfort. I was not in a mood to go anywhere and decided to stay indoor. But the contagious spirit of HOLY 2010 gripped me when some of my colleagues called me to john with them pressing the calling bell of my house. I threw away all my illness and lined up with them. Colour powders were sprinkled and the holy was celebrated in full pump. This festival is very significant because many egos melt and broken relationships are mended. That happened when Pradeep smeared my face with some colours. Life is short and we should care for having good relationship with others. HOLY is a festival which is gives ample opportunity to renew a healthy relationship.

Jayanta uncle's family and our family set out in the morning for visiting the important tourist places of undivided koraput. Our first destination was Gupteswar. This time we found the temple beautification work in full swing. The steps of the temple which meanders upto the hill top are widened and covered with orange-coloured slates. The siva linga which is worshipped at this place is enshrined in a cave which elongates to a considerable distance and mingles into darkness.I could not muster courage to explore the end point of the cave. The thick darkness overpowers all shorts of portable lighting systems. The congenial bats flutter in the cave at the sight of the visitors. The big rocks, which make the roof of the cave, bear weird structures which add a strange sombreness to the place.

Sweating by a hillside

I sat in the college library. Mind developed a kind of tranquility. I loved to sit there away from my home environment. I felt happy because I was sitting their alone in the company of few books. Ajaya was delivering a class to the students. The sounds of his speech I could hear. It was making the atmosphere more study centred. But our college do not have a garden. The campus is not well-kept. This may reflect our neatly functional approach to the institution. We the lecturers come, teach our lessons and go away, so it happens with other staff. We read about environmental degradation but we never put efforts for its restoration. The basic attitude of life has become superficial and rootless. Yesterday I had been to a hill side near our town. And I found that the hills are stripped off the green cover by the local people. The collection of fire wood and other plant products have left the place barren. The hills show up massive hard granites to the blazing sunshine resulting an unbearable temperature rise. In that winter afternoon when I was climbing up the hill I sweated profusely. The winter evening became hell like. There the stay was not at all enjoyable because human interference in the nature's laws had spoiled the refreshing qualities of the hillside.

Reliving some forgotten part of life

The life of an individual and his surroundings greatly influence each other. It would be more appropriate to say that life’s gradual progress accompanies an outwardly imperceptible but steadily deepening bond with the place where we live in and the people who are around us. This truth is discoverable at moments when we attempt at viewing the flashbacks of life which may range from extreme heights of happiness to abysmal depths of despair. Both sweetness and the bitterness in life collectively constitute the emotional bonding that makes life what it ought to be. Heated arguments, lovely hugs, moments of separation or association all go to form the very definition of life. Some memories linger and some memories gradually fade away leaving only a faint trail of trace. But occasions are there, when such old memories are reawakened or reminded significantly by many small things of life. And the influences of such things immediately refresh those faded memories into life once again.


This so happened when way back I had been to my old college for some official work. That was the college where I had graduated. That was the college which was so intimate to me. I saw those old walls, those same old pillars, same class rooms but many new faces and unknown and indifferent staff. In these days Life had changed a lot and I was there out of place. But I was with my old memories and tear filled eyes. The classrooms, the corridors, the common room, the library all reminded me how I was once wandering in those sunny days frivolously in the jocund company of my friends. But I was very nostalgic when I remembered that short-height girl with chubby chicks, lovely lips and that heavenly smile.

The curve of her smile had curved my career graph very downward. And afterwards in the zigzag course of life the smile had faded in some unknown, unseen and unheard land . But that day the concrete structures of the college building and the campus had made me feel the warmth of that smile once again very close to my heart. It was undoubtedly the reliving of some forgotten part of my life.

I looked sky ward and thanked god for reminding me of that lovely smiling girl so that with my tear-filled eyes I can at least pray for her to be happy and smiling so that the smile can continue forever wherever she may be.

A Life Enriching Relationship. . .

A life enriching relationship commences on finding someone who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heart beat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. . . .wait for the boy who smiles and stands silently by you, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you are just pretty without make up on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.

Newspaper, saloon and tea stalls

The civilised human beings read newspaper most intently when they wait in a que at the barber's. Reading the newspaper achieves special charm when the long que compells the men in que to scan through the pages of cheap politics, accidents, incidents ,lopsided views and numerous ads. In india the tea stalls and the saloons are the local parliaments where all sorts of views and reviews are made. Moreover, this local political centers are very informative where the informations reach from various sources. But sometimes these places become the chief agents in misinterpreting and miscolouring many a local incidents. However, such places are the proofs which assure us that we are enjoying freedom of speech.

The solar eclipse

There was much hype about the longest annular solar eclipse of the century. Everybody and everything seemed to be influenced by the heavenly occurrence The celestial movement even cast its shadow on our college holiday list and the institution remained close today. The forenoon was foggy and cloudy. So staying indoors and watching television were the natural course of the day. But in the evening my wife and I went on bike away from the locality and set on a culvert by the side of the road. Some moments we spent together.for my wife this was someway a break from the monotony of the daily household chores. So directly or indirectly the eclipse was enjoyable.

Evening stroll with some samosa.

The evening stroll often halts at a hotel engaging ourselves in gobbling up 2 to 3 samosas. And this evening during power cut sairam and me went walking upto Mr. Pradhan's hotel at Balimela junction and filled life with samosa. In most parts of orissa puri, idlly, chakuli and dosa form the major items of morning tiffin but in the evening time the menu generally includes samosa, vada, potato cutlet and gulgula. So if ever you feel like eating in a small village of Orissa, like our work-station Govindapally, be sure to ask for the above items as per the given time frame. If you ask for idlly or puri in the evening time there is enough probability to get the morning leftovers. So I say ASK right items at right times from the hotels of our locality and stay fit untill you meet me.

An emotional evening, 7th Jan, 2010

The times spent with a good friend is unforgettable. The understandings, the misunderstandings, the petty fights, the reconcilliations, the happy roars of laughter, the rolling drops of tear, the sobs, the feelings of genuine care and love , all come together to define such a friend. Life appears to be a multi coloured picture or a picturesque novel when we remember such friends. I may be allowed to add that such friends are beyond the ambit of mind. They belong to the heart and soul. Their presence or absence in physical terms has least influence on the general sense of good feeling between the kindered souls. Just the moment ,when one closes the eyes in thankfulness for being contemporary to each other and being good to each other, marks the spiritual bond. Today evening I strongly felt life as described above when the memories of Berhampur during my post graduation started to float in my mind.

Day One of 2010

While Walking on a road of chennai in search of a guest house, my eyes caught the sight of some colourful fireworks in the sky that gloriously heralded the arrival o a new year once again. People were rushing with tremendous speed on the highways. And I was only gazing their alarming rush to celebrate the zero hour. Except a few moments' concern to lead life in an exemplary way I did not feel anything special about the day. I went straight to BLUE MOUNT GUEST HOUSE , booked a suit and came to CHENNAI CENTRAL RAILWAY STATION to pick up my wife, who was at that time waiting for me in the station with some tribal students from Odisa. My wife and me went to the guest house straight because for the last few days we had been extremely tired in moving different tourist attractions of Chennai. We felt that the best way to celebrate the new year's day is in sleeping a few hours undisturbed. But from midnight onwards the new year greeting smss and phone calls compelled us to remain awake for a long time past midnight. In the morning we had our train at 8.45am.